Love

Gendered concept of Love

"Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved."

-or-

“Women are incapable of loving men in a way that a man idealizes is possible, in a way he thinks she should be capable of.” – Rollo Tomassi

In the YouTube video The Shocking Reality: Do Women Genuinely Love Men?, Rollo Tomassi addresses how woman and men's concepts of 'love' differ.

In the realm of relationships, it's a common belief that men are the realists, the pragmatists, while women are the romantics, the dreamers. At their core, men are romantics pretending to be pragmatists. While they often project an image of stoicism and practicality, underneath lies a romantic heart. This romanticism manifests in their idealistic view of love. Men often harbor a hope for a kind of love that is deep, abiding, and unconditional. Women, while outwardly appearing as the romantics, often approach love with a more pragmatic mindset. They are opportunists (in the best, most positive definition of the word), looking for stability, security, and a partner who aligns with their life goals. This isn't to say that women can't love passionately, but their love is frequently rooted in pragmatism.

It's essential to recognize that the difference in love concepts between the sexes can lead to misunderstandings. Men tend to have a more idealistic view, yearning for a love that aligns with their romantic ideals. On the other hand, women might approach love from a standpoint of practicality, ensuring that their emotional investments align with their life's objectives. Understanding the contrasting perspectives of love between men and women is crucial for fostering healthy relationships. While men might yearn for a love that mirrors their romantic ideals, women often look for love that aligns with their pragmatic needs. Embracing these differences and seeking common ground can pave the way for more profound, meaningful connections.

Roots in evolutionary psychology

Tomassi explores this in 'War Brides': Woman dating back to cave man times all through history to present day have been hardwired by years of evolution and the conflict that comes with it. The concept of war bride is that when villages were raided by outsiders the invaders would kill all the men and take all the woman and claim them as their own, woman had to quickly adapt to the new man or be killed for deifying him.

Over the years from this evolutionary stand point women have learned to quickly adapt to a new man. A woman will not completely and entirely give herself to any one man so how is she supposed to love that one man when she is constantly surveying and scouting for the next Alpha to take her current man down.